Q:lonngggg time follow here :P do you speak japanese?
A little. It’s been quite awhile since I was last able to practice with someone though. I can hardly remember much now. :(
Q:Tired of the dreads?
It was sort of on impulse that I decided to try a sidecut. Turns out dreads + sidecut = too extreme for work. As soon as my hair grows back in I’ll have dreads again though, I love them so much.
Q:Don't mean to be all "internet creep" cause a lot of people on the internet are skinless creeps! Just! Keep it up, your journal kinda adds to my "courage to about to do some shit about my life". and I guess i should add a question so: Does having dreadlocks make your scalp itch? I kept my mohawk up with knox gelatin and i ended up screwing it up cause i kept scratching my scalp with a kebab stick.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. As for dreads, my scalp was only itchy when I first had them put in because there was a lot of hair pulling. Otherwise I made sure to wash my head whenever it felt dirty (especially after playing soccer) and tried to focus more on massaging the scalp. As for shampoo I used Dr. Bronners Tea Tree Oil shampoo and Green Machine from Lush.
Q:Dook dook dookitty doot. Google translation: "We love you and hope you feel better". Love from your ferrets.
Sort of an update [tw: depression]
So I know I’m about to hit my two year mark on hrt and I should give you all an update but that’s not what this is about. I’ve been going through some stuff lately and, well, things haven’t been looking good. I’ll spare you all the gory details but what it comes down to is I’ve been given a choice: Figure out how to get things straightened out or someone will do it for me a.k.a. I’ll be sent to a ward.
This really scares me because I really don’t think I could handle it, even though I can barely handle things now. I don’t know what’d happen, and I realize this is ironic, but I don’t think I can just leave. To address the irony of it I guess what would really get me is still being alive and feeling the guilt of abandoning my family, friends, ferrets, and cat. I honestly think, at least for a little while, I’d be more at risk if I were to do that.
The former option isn’t much better though because it’s hard to dig yourself out of the rut and for me most of my anguish is centered specifically around my genitals. Things got better for awhile because I was able to focus on my social/public transition for the past year and a half but something that I haven’t/can’t address is my genitals and really the only thing that can is surgery at this point and that costs money, money I don’t have or will have for a long time. It’s nearly unbearable to go on everyday when there are constant reminders ranging from benign things like not being able to wear snug pants or tights to big things like not being able to go and try out for a professional soccer team — which would be my childhood dream come true.
So I’m frustrated and confused right now and I apologize for my lack of presence and updates. I hope you all are doing well. -kei
I can blend if I want to. 2yr hrt
Does anyone know either the USL’s or NWSL’s trans policy?
So there’s open tryouts for the women’s pro soccer team here
which I won’t even try because there’ll probably be locker rooms. Guess I won’t be pursuing that dream anytime soon.